$type=ticker$count=12$cols=4$cate=0

I prefer a sex doll, please

 Tunde Odesola  Back at Chelsea FC, eccentric football coach and loudmouth, Jose Mourhino, was a reputable advocate of “Park the bus” foot...

 Tunde Odesola

 Back at Chelsea FC, eccentric football coach and loudmouth, Jose Mourhino, was a reputable advocate of “Park the bus” football philosophy. But advocates of the free-flowing, “tiki-taka” brand of football flaunted by Barcelona FC are wont to describe Mourhino’s defence-minded philosophy as “ugly football”. Call the two styles a duel between opposites; positive and negative – one thing is sure – the end justifies the means. But I love “tiki-taka”.

 The phrase “park the bus” wasn’t coined by football aficionados. It was coined in far away Sweden and its translation is “parkera bussen”. Wait! “Parkera bussen” is a Swedish idiom for sex! This idiom derives from the belief that parking a long bus into a parking spot without hitting anything could be an arduous challenge demanding concentration – which sex also requires.

 Necessity, they say, is the mother of invention. Sex dolls did not fall from heaven. The first sex dolls were invented by Dutch sailors in the 17th Century to curb sexual loneliness at sea. Sex dolls in those days were masturbatory dolls made of sewn clothes. In the introduction to his book, “The Sex Doll: A History,” Anthony Ferguson says advances in cybernetics and global communications technology brought the modern day sex doll out of the closet en route to the threshold of the boundary between pleasure and science.

 Some men would boastfully say, “It’s a man’s world.” Well, it could be a man’s world, but women subtly control it, ruthlessly. Or what can one say of the following scenario? To ensure ever-ready, sexual bliss, women go for sinewy sex toys (dildos) of various colours, girths and lengths. Some carry their toys with them everywhere they go. Many women claim they use sex toys to avoid sleeping around, saying, “once I use it, I’m ok, I don’t need any man”. They buy clothes, jewellry, shoes, bags, creams and use sex toys. Men didn’t complain. But men won’t drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes for too long. Soon, they too woke up to the need to satisfy a bizarre sexual desire by inventing sex dolls, and all hell broke loose afterwards! “Sex dolls can’t replace us, it’s not like the real thing, impossible!” women chorus. Do you still say it’s a man’s world?

 Like the sex doll, the social media is an artificial creation which simulates interpersonal communication reality. Watching a video clip on social media a few days ago dumped me in a barrel of laughs. You know the kind of laugh that brings tears to your eyes and leaves your ribs aching? This is the story: A young black American brought his new chick home. As they were dancing erotically in preparation to eat the forbidden fruit, the young man’s female lover bursts in on them. Guess what ‘Mr Adam’ did. Instantly, he began to talk to, and treat the new chick like a sex doll. Taking the cue, the new chick froze like a doll, talking in a metallic voice and blinking. Hell, William Shakespeare says, hath no fury like a woman scorned. The “regular” babe saw through the trick, and won’t have none of it. What really had me in stitches was that while the “regular” babe was howling and cursing the “sex doll”, the lover boy produced a receipt with which he “bought” the “sex doll”, and was showing it to the implacable lover. I laughed and laughed and laughed, and I remembered Nigerian political leaders. What can’t they do? Who can’t they deceive?

 Coincidentally, watching another online video clip some hours after watching the video of the lover boy drives home the point that Nigeria’s political elite have no idea of their responsibilities to the citizenry and the country.

 Enter, Senator Dino Melaye.

 The first and only time I came across Dino was at the All Progressives Congress presidential primary held at the Teslim Balogun Stadium, Lagos, ahead of the 2015 presidential election. From where I sat on the bleacher, I could see Dino, enthusiastically moving up and down the rostrum, making some announcements. When the former House of Representatives member from Kogi spoke, he won my heart with his elocution, passion and youth. That was in December 2014.

 A lot of water has since passed under the bridge. Dino had gone ahead to contest the Kogi-West senatorial district election and won. In the Senate, he’s now in his element having discovered an inherent singing talent and a certain voice; a swag and braggadocio which Nigerians never knew existed. He released the ‘Ajekun iya’ musical video hit, which he followed up with ‘Kilo tun ku ti o se?’ and a cameo with rapper, Kach, depicting a peacocky lifestyle in the song titled, “Dino”. The song, “Dino”, features a vainglorious lyric like “100 cars in the parking lot like I’m Dino”. Kach, by the way, is the son of Nigeria’s oil minister, Ibe Kachikwu. There was another blockbuster video of Dino, themed, “Pirates of the Caribbean”, to mark his 44th birthday in January 2018. In the video of the party reportedly held in his palatial Kogi country house, the lawmaker projects the culture of faceless Caribbean pirates, as he wears long dreadlocks, cowboy hat, white long-sleeved shirt, black baggy pants, boots, etc. But every known dictionary says a pirate is a thief.

 Dino had appeared in two other videos. In one, he is seen with a tray of groundnuts on his head, selling the commodity. In the other video, he leads a Senate committee to the office of the Comptroller-General of Customs, Col. Hameed Ali (retd.), on oversight functions. In the video, Dino is heard chastising the customs boss for not “coming downstairs” to welcome the committee. Ali’s response made me remember the treatment a former Chairman, Independent National Electoral Commission, Prof Attahiru Jega, gave Godsday Orubebe, a former Minister of the Niger Delta Affairs, at the 2015 presidential election results collation centre in Abuja. After so much hollering and threatening to stop the announcement of the presidential election results, Jega only looked at Orubebe as a benign elephant would look at an ant on a sycophantic display of combative arrogance, and moved on.

 Cockily, Dino told Ali, “I also want to register my displeasure that the comptroller-general of customs was not downstairs to receive the Senate. This is the Senate of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. We have the seal and the authority of the Nigerian Senate to be here. The Senate President, as I speak, is here. We’ve visited other paramilitary service…For me, I feel disrespected that the CG is within the complex and was in his office; (but) he wasn’t downstairs to receive Nigerian senators. We register our displeasure about this. If this should repeat itself next time, we will take a walk.”

 Ali listened to Dino’s ranting. Coolly, he said, “With regard to protocol, customs has its (sic) protocol, immigration has its protocol. When we adopt our own protocols in our own premises, I think we should be given that liberty. When we do visit the Senate as chief executives, nobody ever lines up to receive us. Therefore, I don’t see any reason why we should not be allowed to practise our own protocols. Our protocol is our protocol…”

Dino is a metaphor of the leadership calamity plaguing the country. In a country of more than 180 million people, it is depressing that many who get into positions of power are birdbrains.

 When Sikiru Ayinde Barrister sang “Oke Agba” in 1980 to extol the preeminence of destiny, he also had in mind jesters who should be apprentices in Nollywood but who found themselves in leadership positions. Where do we have a Bashorun Gaa, before whom everybody kneels – to speak; an ever excited dancer, and a heartless woman, who rated cow life over human life? The National Assembly, of course!

 See why I prefer a sex doll to this gang? It can’t be worse.

COMMENTS

BLOGGER

/fa-clock-o/ WEEK TRENDING$type=list

Name

#bbnaija,2,2019,1,2019 elections,3,2face idibia,7,About Us,1,accident,21,Action,1,Adeboye,1,Africa,21,africa news,37,Africam News,1,African Beauty,12,African history,1,african news,5,African Students,2,africatourism,1,Agriculture,17,Almajiri,1,ambode,24,Android,3,Animals,1,anthony joshua,3,APC,30,Apostle Johnson Suleiman,7,Apostle Suleiman,1,Apple,1,Arsenal FC,3,Art,1,article,7,Articles,1,Arts and Culture,4,Assurance Davido,1,ASUU,7,autos,1,Award,31,Ayo Fayose,4,Ayodele Fayose,1,bangladesh,1,barcelona fc,14,basketball,1,bb naija,1,bbcyoruba,1,BBnaija,41,BEAUTY,24,bet awards,1,Beuty,1,beyonce mass,1,biafra,28,Bitcoin,1,Black Panther,3,Blackberry updates,3,Blackpanther,1,blog,2,Blogger,53,Bloggers Hit,22,Blogging,1,bobrisky,1,Boko Haram,86,Boko Haram Crisis,32,Boko-haram,19,Boko-Haran,1,BOKOHARAM,8,Bolo Haram Crisis,5,Bovi,1,boxer,6,boxing,1,Brain Teazer,1,Breaking,134,Breaking News,1618,Breakinh,1,Brealing,1,BREXIT,2,Bruno Mars,1,budget,8,Buhari,196,Buratai,1,bursaries,2,BUSINESS,171,Business Breaking,1,CAC church,1,Calabar,1,cambridge exams,3,CAN,2,Cancet,1,career,4,Cars,1,Ceelebrities,1,Celebrities,636,Celebrity,11,Celebs,10,Celerities,8,chamions league,8,champion's league,28,Champions league,2,Champions' League,1,CHEATS,27,chelsea fc,85,chemistry,1,chibok girls,3,Chioma,1,christiano Ronaldo,43,Comedy,10,Commonwealth,2,Corruption,5,Court,1,Crime,108,Crisis,134,Crisis in Nigeria,57,Culture,1,daddy freeze,1,daily devotion,1,dangote,7,Dansuki,4,Dapchi Girls,1,dapchigirls,1,Dasuki,3,Davido,40,Dbanj,1,Diezani Alison Madueke,1,dino melaye,7,disaster,4,diy,8,dk odukoya,2,DK Olukoya,1,dollar,1,Don Jazzy,1,Donald Trump,82,drug abuse,1,Drugs,7,Earth Science,6,earthquake,1,Easter,3,ecowas,4,Education,281,EFCC,96,Eid-El-Kabir,6,Ekiti,2,ekiti decides,27,Ekiti Elections,2,Ekiti States,1,el rufai,1,ELECTION,51,Election 2019,1,emenuella,1,Emir Kano,4,Employment opportunities,3,En Son Dakika haberleri,1,enter,1,Entertainement,1,Entertainment,1083,Entertainment Latest News,1,Entertainments,3,Entetainment,2,environment,1,EpicGames,2,epl,5,Ese,1,Essay Competitions,1,EU,1,euro2024,1,Europeaun Commission,1,evans,1,event,4,Events,11,Facebook,7,FACEBOOK TRICKS,5,facebook update,28,fani Kayode,3,Fashion,46,father's day,1,Fayose,5,featured,2,federal government,83,Fellowships,1,femi adesina,1,FG,1,fight,1,finance,74,Finances,1,fitness,3,flavour,1,flood,1,Folorunsho Alakija,1,football,306,football Europa League,1,Foreign,156,Fraud,39,Fuel Scarcity,13,fulani herdsmen,23,Funny,47,FUTURE TECH,16,game,3,gay pastor,2,Ghana,1,gist,69,goo,1,Goodluck Jonathan,1,Google,13,google i/o 2018,1,Google9ja,44,google9ja news,2874,gossip,28,Gov. Amosun,1,Gov. Fayose,28,graduate jobs,1,Graduates,2,Grammy Award,2,Guinness Book Of Record,1,hack,1,HACKERS,6,hajj,1,Headlines,1,Health,134,healthy food,1,Healthy Living,23,hemp,1,herdsmen,5,Hilarious,2,Hip hop,2,history,1,holiday,1,house of reps,2,How to Create a website,1,hushpuppi,1,Ibadan,3,independence,7,INEC,8,inspirational,6,International,1,International Scholarships,3,internet,7,interns,1,Internships,6,interview,2,interviews,1,Investment,1,Investor,1,iphone,17,iphones,2,ipob,1,IS,1,isis,1,israel,2,Israel Palestine crisis,1,JAMB,3,jenifa,8,Jerusalem,2,jibrin,1,Jobs,68,John Terry,1,Jokes,1,Jonathan,1,Jose mourinho,13,justin Timbalake,1,kaduna,20,Kanu Nwakwo,1,Kanye west,1,Kardashian,1,kardashians,1,Kardeshian,1,Kardeshians,1,kelvin hart,1,kelvinhart,1,Kemi olunloyo,1,kidnap,21,kim kardashians,9,kingship,7,Lagos,5,lagos state,49,Lagos train project,1,lai mohammed,3,Lassa Fever,3,Lastest News,2,lat,1,Latest News,970,Latest Nigeria In News. Nigeria News. Your online Nigerian Newspaper.,669,Latest Nigeria News. Nigerian News. Your online Nigerian Newspaper.,819,latest Nigerian jobs,1,Latests News,1,lawyers,3,Leadership,1,league,2,Life,2,Life style,96,Lifestyle,35,Lifstyle,1,Linda Ikeji's Blog,1,Linda versus Wizkid,1,Linda vrs Wizkid,1,Linda vrs Wizzy,1,Live Update,1,Live Updates,5,lol,13,London,1,Love,18,Manchester United,28,market place,2,Masters Scholarships,1,mbaka,1,mecca,1,mercy Aigbe,3,Mercy Johnson,1,messi,26,mfm prayer points,8,MFM Prayers,14,MFM Sermons,2,mimiko,1,minimum wage,1,miracle prayers,12,MKO Abiola,2,MMM,3,Mobile Phone,1,Model,1,Model United Nations,2,moji olaiya,1,Money,1,monkeys,1,motivation,4,Movie,52,Movies,3,MTN,1,MTN NIGERIA,10,mugabe,1,MUNPlanet,2,Music,17830,NAFDAC,1,Naija,2598,Naija News,1,Naija Entertainment,1,Naija New,4,Naija Newa,1,naija news,1170,naira,1,Naira devaluation,3,Naira evaluation,2,nano technology,1,NBA,3,ncc,1,NCCF,1,new,5,New music,20,New Nigeria,2,News,3800,News Nigeria,34,NewsMusic,1,newspapers,4,Niageria,1,Nicki Minaj,1,Niger Delta Avengers,37,Nigeria,17,Nigeria Air,1,Nigeria Latest News,3,nigerian,21,Nigerian Breaking News,551,Nigerian history,3,Nigerian Jobs,1,Nigerian Latest New,1,Nigerian Latest News,1223,Nigerian Latest News online,2637,Nigerian Music Entertainment,1,Nigerian Newpapers,1,Nigerian News,674,Nigerian News. Latest Nigeria News. Your online Nigerian Newspaper.,16212,Nigerian Newspaper,3,Nigerian Newspapers,1,Nigerian police apptitude test,5,Nigerian politics,184,nigerian senate house,13,Nigerian Students,2,Nigerian Super Eagles,29,Nigerians in south-Africa,3,Nih,1,nlc,1,NLC updates,2,nnamdi kanu,8,NNPC,22,Nollyhood,17,Nollywood,3,NOUN,1,NY crash,1,NYSC,19,NYSC updates,15,Obadanjo,1,Obama,5,Obasanjo,20,October 1st,3,OculusRift,1,oil and gas,1,Olamide,3,Olamide baddo,1,Olusegun Obasanjo,1,omg,2,ondo state,3,ONLINE BIZ,5,Online money,1,only in Nigeria,320,Ooni of Ife,6,ooni-ife,1,opinion,1,Orphans,1,orubebe,1,Osinbajo,2,Osun decides,10,oyo state,8,palestine,1,Pastor E. A Adeboye,1,pastor E.A Adeboye,7,pastor T.B joshua,3,paul pogba,1,PDP,4,phon,1,Phones,35,POLITICS,1790,POLİTİCS,1,POLOTICS,2,Postgraduate,1,power,1,Power holding,10,prayer,16,prayer points,5,Prayers,3,premier League,79,president,1,Products,1,proud marry,1,Public hearing,1,quiz,1,quotes,4,rat,1,RCCG,2,recruitment,4,Relationship,29,Relationships,130,Religion,112,Reviews,1,Rihana,2,rio olympics,7,ronaldinho,2,Russia 2018,17,russia2018,4,Samsung galaxy s6,1,Samsung updates,3,Sanusi Lamido Sanusi,1,Saraki,1,Satanists,1,Saudi Arabia,1,Schilarships,1,Scholarahips,1,Scholarships,1606,Scholarships 2018,1,Scholarships for Aricans,1,science,6,Security,74,Senate,2,sex doll,1,Shekau,1,shiites,1,short girls,1,short people,1,smart phones,23,smartphones,2,snake,1,socal media,1,soccer,2,social,46,Social media,1,South Africa,1,spanish league,17,Sport,17,Sporta,2,Sports,820,stolen mace,1,stolenmace,1,Stories,56,Story,1,Strategy,1,student internships,2,STUDY ABROAD,101,Style,3,Success tips,1,Sudan,1,Super Eagles,2,Tech,29,Tech matters,156,Tech News,1,Technology,1,Techs,2,Telecommunication,11,Telecommunications,1,tennis,1,terrorism,1,Test your brain,1,therock,1,TimSweeney,1,tithe,1,tompolo,1,tonto dike,3,Traineeships,1,Travel,7,Trump,3,Turkey,2,Turkieh embassy,1,turkish visa,1,Twitter,2,twitter attacks,14,uganda,1,UK,1,UK News,1,Uncategorized,4,Undergraduate Scholarships,1,Underprivileged Students,1,unemployment,6,United Kingdom,2,Updates,1,US,110,USA,1,usain bolt,1,Useful Hacks,1,UTME,3,vacancy,2,valentine,1,valentine'sday,1,Video,1,Videos,10,viral,1,virallink,4,VirtualReality,2,VISION 2020,7,vr,1,Weird,3,WEIRD NEWS,641,WEİRD NEWS,1,WEIRS NEWS,1,Whatsapp update,2,windows,1,Wired news,2,wizkid,22,wizkid in california,1,world,324,World cup,7,World News,28,World Record,2,World's statistics,1,Yahoo Tech,1,Yaya Toure,1,yemi osinbajo,21,Yobe Girls,1,Yola Girls,1,Yoruba News,1,Youth,7,Youth Opportunities,2,zimbabwe,1,
ltr
item
Google9ja | Entertainment | Nigerian Latest News online: I prefer a sex doll, please
I prefer a sex doll, please
Google9ja | Entertainment | Nigerian Latest News online
https://www.google9ja.com/2018/02/i-prefer-sex-doll-please.html
https://www.google9ja.com/
https://www.google9ja.com/
https://www.google9ja.com/2018/02/i-prefer-sex-doll-please.html
true
8173235409350904551
UTF-8
Loaded All Posts Not found any posts VIEW ALL Readmore Reply Cancel reply Delete By Home PAGES POSTS View All RECOMMENDED FOR YOU LABEL ARCHIVE SEARCH ALL POSTS Not found any post match with your request Back Home Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat January February March April May June July August September October November December Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec just now 1 minute ago $$1$$ minutes ago 1 hour ago $$1$$ hours ago Yesterday $$1$$ days ago $$1$$ weeks ago more than 5 weeks ago Followers Follow THIS PREMIUM CONTENT IS LOCKED STEP 1: Share to a social network STEP 2: Click the link on your social network Copy All Code Select All Code All codes were copied to your clipboard Can not copy the codes / texts, please press [CTRL]+[C] (or CMD+C with Mac) to copy Table of Content