How to confront and deal with a lying partner

As children, we were all warned about the dangers of lying and despite our best efforts, most of us still lie, especially in relationships. ...

As children, we were all warned about the dangers of lying and despite our best efforts, most of us still lie, especially in relationships.

A little lie here and there may do no harm but when your partner is a habitual liar, there’s cause for alarm.

But before you can think about confronting a lying partner, it is important to understand why people lie.

Why do people lie?

In a good number of cases, people lie because they want to avoid the consequences of the truth. Sometimes, lying can be a deliberate attempt to hurt another person. And in some cases, some people claim they lie to protect those they love.

Psychologists, meanwhile, say that growing up in a household where lying was the norm will make one prone to lying.

How to confront a lying partner

If you feel you are being constantly lied to, it can be a sensitive task confronting your partner. This is because the hurt you feel from being lied to might cause the relationship to break-up.

You need to, first of all, self examine yourself. Ask yourself if you are willing to stay with your partner even after they reveal the truth to you.

Also, ask yourself if maybe your behaviour towards your partner lately has encouraged them to lie to you.

After a thorough self-examination, it is important to confront your partner.

Confrontation does not translate to cross-examining them. A simple conversation where you gently ask them why they are behaving in a certain way out of the norm might be the ice-breaker that could bring your partner to open up.

How to deal with the situation

After learning the truth from your partner, and based on your decision from prior self-examination, you may either stay with them or call for an end to the relationship.

Making a decision on whether to go ahead or quit the relationship is solely dependent on you, your values, desires and principles.

If you choose to stay, it is important to draw a clear line with your partner, stating that lying is unacceptable and that you’d prefer the truth no matter how much it may hurt.

If you choose to quit the relationship, do so with respect and explain why you made your decision.